Sunday, 7 March 2010

Avoid: Possession (2009)


Stars: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Lee Pace & Michael Landes.

Surely the dumbest film of 2010!

Despite being completed in 2007 and shelved due to the company's bankruptcy this film finally gets a straight to dvd release this month.

Jessica (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and Ryan (Michael Landes) are soulmates who have just hit their one year wedding anniversary and are still as sickeningly in love as they have ever been, he writes her love letters constantly, she looks at him longingly every chance she gets. The one little fly in their love ointment seems to be Ryan's brother Roman (lanky Lee Pace from TV's Pushing Daisies totally unconvincing here as a hard man) a tattooed up ex-con that's living with them and seems to fancy Jessica, well she finds him a bit creepy, what with all his moody leaning against the wall smoking and the like, so looks like he's gonna get booted out of the house. He's way ahead of her of course, packing his bags and out the door before you can say sexual tension. His brother goes after him and BOOM! the assholes collide with each other in the worlds most unfeasible car accident on the golden gate bridge and both end up in life-threatening comas.

Cue lots of weeping and re-reading of stacks of love letters and looking at photos, etc from Jessica until a few months later when Roman comes out of the coma. Can you guess? Can you? Yup, bad boy Roman insists he is actually loverboy Ryan. He's got no other family so Jessica takes him home where he continues to insist he's actually her husband. He's all sensitive now, he knows things that only Ryan would know, hell he doesn't even smoke or swear anymore! This definitive evidence soon convinces Jessica that her hubby's soul must have migrated into his brother's taller hunkier body and proceeds to get it on with bro-in-law married style. It all goes swimmingly until a visit from Roman's masochistic ex-girlfriend and her mysterious disappearance shortly thereafter plus some guff about a necklace finally leads Jessica to suspect that maybe Roman is talking shite after all. But how could he know all those things? HOW? It's not like there's a written history of Jessica and Ryan's relationship in love letter form complete with annotated photos and collected trinkets - D'OH!

Yeah it really is that dumb....

The final act unconvincingly throws in a little bit of a supernatural story element but it's too late, the audience has left. So ends another Buffy-centric Asian thriller remake (Jungdok from back in 2002 for those interested), I hope she doesn't get coaxed into doing anymore. To be fair at least this one wasn't as coma-inducing as her previous attempt at a very similar story (2006's The Return) although it does reprise and extend the theme of Buffy looking morose while slooooooowly walking down corridors as if something might jump out at any second (but never does).

Avoid at all costs folks, it's bad enough I had to suffer through this.........

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